It’s still harsh.
When spring was still a thing I did the ‘You’re Not Good Enough Book Tag‘ regular people version and because Sara from The Bibliophagist knows that I am such a sucker for Harry Potter she tagged me to do this one! Check out Sara’s answers here.
Thanks Sara! I love doing tags and this one was one of my favourites so I’m happy to be doing it again, wizard style!
Pick 30 fictional characters and write their names down. You then pluck two names by random at a time to answer one of the 15 questions and select the character that fits the criteria the best and so determine which character is not ‘good enough’ and relegate them to Fictional Character Therapy to work on their crushed self-esteem.
(I have used the same wording of the rules I used before to suit my personal taste).
Dobby vs. Gilderoy Lockhart
Do I think Dobby will be a useful and valid member on Team Gerry? No. No I do not. But he’ll make his very best effort and he’ll be so grateful. Lockhart would also add no value but he would be significantly less gracious at what he see’s as his ‘efforts.’
Moaning Myrtle vs. Hermione
It’s absolutely not personal, I like Hermione a great deal but she has book smarts and wand skill and frankly would squish me like a little bug (or turn me into one and keep me in a glass jar for a year). Moaning Myrtle is also kind of… dead already.
Fenrir Greyback vs. Mad Eye Moody
Seriously? Seriously?! Why, whenever I answer this type of question my options are dubious and dubiouser. Yes, I know that’s not a real word.
Fenrir is actual scum though and Moody is just… moody. I can handle moody therefore I can handle Moody. I’m sure our dates would be us grumping out about the things we don’t like.
Hagrid vs. Bellatrix Lastrange
Let’s face it, it’s a bit of a no brainer. Hagrid would actually do anything for anyone. Don’t worry, Bellatrix would also be in the games. She’s volunteered as a Career tribute and her plan is to win the thing.
Fleur Delacour vs. Remus Lupin
No offense Fleur, you’re lovely and all but Remus has been through a lot and in truth, he’d be more likely to eat me so I’m afraid it’s chomp or be chomped.
Voldemort vs. Harry Potter
The Chosen One has become the chosen one. Deep inside Harry’s always wished he was a sidekick rather than The Chosen One so here’s his chance. Instead of attending classes at Hogwarts and battling dark forces he now gets to be sidekick to me. This means he can attend disciplinary and grievance meetings, help me work on company polices and analyse the cost of people’s sickness absence to the business.
The Forbidden Forest never looked so good, did it Harry?
Snape vs. Lily Potter (nee Evans)
Right. So Lily Evans, recently married and now Lily Potter, is in the Avocado If You Think You’re Hard Enough’s talent pool of employees and is on the succession plan as a High Potential. She is pretty awesome in all respects and is being fast tracked for management. Lily is great.
Severus is intelligent but keeps getting passed over for the promotion (he thinks he deserves) on account of his attitude problems. Its now turned him from ‘sort of’ bitter to fully fledged. It’s not just his communication which is a problem. He’s been bullying younger employees, especially the interns and then someone came and reported a case of sexual harassment and stalking. The person that reported it was Lily. Sadly, it didn’t surprise you.
Off you toddle, Snape.
Dolores Umbridge vs. Molly Weasley
Do I even need to put my reasons? Didn’t think so.
Dumbledore vs. Nymphodora Tonks
When we think ‘Dumbledore’ we think, old wizard. Old wizard Dumbledore wouldn’t be in any kind of clique. I doubt he even has any friends. They’re all more acquaintances, colleagues and ‘people he trusts’ but not friends.
Nymphodora is actually cool based on her awesome personality and shape shifting ability but what’s even cooler is how much she doesn’t care. She is popular but keeps to her close friends and is no way in any clique.
Young Dumbledore actually cares what people think. Not so much as to whether they like him but whether they think he is clever and talented. He wants to be in the clique that holds the power and so he joins them. Don’t worry, he grows up, realises his so called ‘friends’ are dicks and leaves.
Hedwig vs. Mrs. McGonagall
Hedwig. On account of being an owl.
Neville Longbottom vs. Viktor Krum
Viktor’s channel is really popular. Like really popular. It cropped up on your feed as one of the ‘most watched’ so you made yourself a cup of tea and settled down to watch a video or two. After a couple of minutes you decide that you don’t get it.
Viktor is an attractive person and his followers, the self styled ‘Krumpettes’ absolutely adore him. But you think it’s mainly because he does book reviews topless or while working out or when he’s in a lake. The content of the reviews is not exactly thought provoking stuff and you end up a little disappointed.
A ‘recommended’ link pops up in the corner because someone has just reviewed the same book Viktor has. Neville Longbottom is definitely not as good looking, is definitely more awkward on camera and has approximately 40 followers in comparison to Viktor’s 4,000. But because of his natural warmth and endearing gawkiness and the fact that he unabashedly nerds out to his favourites, you end up subscribing.
Ron Weasley vs. Sybill Trelawney
I love Ron but c’mon, at a sleepover you want to do the whole Ouija Board, palm reading, ‘light a feather, stiff as a board’ stuff and who is the best person? Sybs of course.
Sirius Black vs. Luna Lovegood
This is on account of Luna being a child. If it was adult Luna then sure.
You’re very disappointed to find out that you’re having a baby after that one time fling with Sirius. He’s not exactly a man ready to commit to anyone let alone a baby and when you tell him he gets the look in his eyes that says ‘run.’
He swears he will make a good father but every time he looks after baby James (because you didn’t get a choice, it had to be named after Sirius’ best friend) you end up with a phone call from someone. You’re either bailing Sirius out or going to hospital or finding baby James with some random neighbour while Sirius ‘pops out.’ Except he always ‘pop out’ and doesn’t return for hours.
He doesn’t want to parent the baby. He wants a sidekick. It’s all very irritating. You wish you’d picked Remus.
Draco Malfoy vs. Nagini
And the worst of it is… Nagini is a snake. She doesn’t have any friggin’ digits with which to reply. Yet somehow she does, especially if it’s ‘Dark Lord’ business. You don’t question, you just accept.
Draco just reads your plea for helps and discards it. While laughing. Then later when you ask him whether he got your text he tells you that he’s lost his phone. While texting someone else. In front of you.
Lucius Malfoy vs. Peter Pettigrew
A lot of people don’t like your new dad. Er… mum but you know what? Lucius Malfoy truly loves his fam and there isn’t anything he won’t do for you. It’s weird because he’s such a dick to everyone else but honestly? You think he’s great.
I won’t nominate anyone this time round but leave it open to all who want to take part!